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What I thought of Aaron’s Story

27 Apr

Yeah, not only am I going to publicly trash-talk him, I’m stealing his posting day (again) to do so! I’m a doooooouche.

Last month, Aaron’s story was written in a few hours, and it was surprising how tight it was. While there were small things here and there that further proofreading would have fixed, it stood up to the test of not having any time (we think – nobody but Scott gives us any feedback!!!) However, in this month’s, also rushed at the end, all the seams show. There are numerous things that a good proofread would have caught (events that seemed to contradict the plot a bit, repetition of words and ideas, unclear narration… etc). There were also more grammar issues.

I like the idea of the story. Hell, I almost used it. If you look at my brainstorming earlier this month, I had briefly dabbled with a “trenchcoat-to-trenchcoat transaction” idea, which is pretty similar to what he went with. But having read this blog, I knew up front that he wanted to put something of a twist ending in there. Of course, knowing something like that does tend to take away some of the surprise.

After reading it, I did some heavy thinking, and I’m going to propose a fairly significant overhaul of the story. It may be too much for him to to tackle with only 3 days left in the month. Or he may hate it. But it’s a way of making the story (in my opinion) more believable and more surprising. He did actually say to me: “i think with a few pokes and prods i can turn this into something that doesn’t suck, so get on that.” I hope he considers it – not necessarily just the idea – but sees the problems I’m hoping my suggestion fixes. If he figures out another way to fix these issues, even better!

I’m finding a little of the steam of this project escaping. With January and February, I was excited to write. With March I wrote it early so I didn’t think about it much. But this month I sorta felt OBLIGATED to write, not free to do so. Maybe the topic wasn’t right for me, maybe the weather’s getting warmer so I’m thinking about playing with my kids and disc golf more, I don’t know. But I wonder if Aaron is going through the same malaise that I am. Or maybe he’s up 4x a night with an infant. That could also be it. I think we both realize this project won’t be at the forefront of our lives, but I hope it doesn’t become too back burner. I like MAKING myself produce. Either way, I’m hoping for a renaissance in May.

Tonight we go over our stories and pick out May’s topic. Stay tuned here.

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1 Comment

Posted by on April 27, 2012 in aaron's writing

 

One response to “What I thought of Aaron’s Story

  1. Scott

    April 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Reading is fun-damental. But I can’t have fun if no one writes anything. Granted it wouldn’t bother me if you guys decided to make it every two months or simply write until one of you says ‘enough!’ on a particular topic without an actual deadline. Write-tweak-write-tweak until you at least like the outcome. I would rather read a story you’ve had the time to invest in instead of pumping out mediocre product every month that Could be great if you had another week to work on it. I know part of the project was to stir the creative juices and all that but don’t let family ‘get in the way’. Make house and home #1. (He said living away from house and home). I don’t know if I’ve ever rambled on before, I think this might be it. Good luck, I am having a good time reading and offering my amateur opinions.

     

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