Yeah, not only am I going to publicly trash-talk him, I’m stealing his posting day (again) to do so! I’m a doooooouche.
Last month, Aaron’s story was written in a few hours, and it was surprising how tight it was. While there were small things here and there that further proofreading would have fixed, it stood up to the test of not having any time (we think – nobody but Scott gives us any feedback!!!) However, in this month’s, also rushed at the end, all the seams show. There are numerous things that a good proofread would have caught (events that seemed to contradict the plot a bit, repetition of words and ideas, unclear narration… etc). There were also more grammar issues.
I like the idea of the story. Hell, I almost used it. If you look at my brainstorming earlier this month, I had briefly dabbled with a “trenchcoat-to-trenchcoat transaction” idea, which is pretty similar to what he went with. But having read this blog, I knew up front that he wanted to put something of a twist ending in there. Of course, knowing something like that does tend to take away some of the surprise.
After reading it, I did some heavy thinking, and I’m going to propose a fairly significant overhaul of the story. It may be too much for him to to tackle with only 3 days left in the month. Or he may hate it. But it’s a way of making the story (in my opinion) more believable and more surprising. He did actually say to me: “i think with a few pokes and prods i can turn this into something that doesn’t suck, so get on that.” I hope he considers it – not necessarily just the idea – but sees the problems I’m hoping my suggestion fixes. If he figures out another way to fix these issues, even better!
I’m finding a little of the steam of this project escaping. With January and February, I was excited to write. With March I wrote it early so I didn’t think about it much. But this month I sorta felt OBLIGATED to write, not free to do so. Maybe the topic wasn’t right for me, maybe the weather’s getting warmer so I’m thinking about playing with my kids and disc golf more, I don’t know. But I wonder if Aaron is going through the same malaise that I am. Or maybe he’s up 4x a night with an infant. That could also be it. I think we both realize this project won’t be at the forefront of our lives, but I hope it doesn’t become too back burner. I like MAKING myself produce. Either way, I’m hoping for a renaissance in May.
Tonight we go over our stories and pick out May’s topic. Stay tuned here.