Oh where to go, where to go…

04 Oct

Originally, I had planned on barring Aaron from reading about my story for no other reason than to spite him for barring me from reading his for the entire month. I thought that would be fun. Now, I’m barring him from reading about my story for the month EVEN if he has his all figured out. So Aaron, I’ll talk to you when we swap drafts, but when I tell you to take a hike, don’t read anything for the rest of the month. So bye. Take a hike. I was going to spell “siyonara” but no matter how I did it it always looked wrong.

Good, I hope he’s gone. Why have I banned him?

Well, because my very first thought when we got our topic(s) was that I was going to stick it to the topics real good. For the most part, I’ve been very faithful to the topic and haven’t tried to make a mockery out of any of them. Well, that’s not quite true – when Aaron gave me 750 words, I did pretty much bastardize what he gave me and turned it into Party Quirks. But of all the topics we’ve agreed upon, I’ve treated each with respect and seriousness. So when we got this one:

a baker puts a special ingredient in his bread that changes life in his sleepy town, while someone in the town discovers a surprising branch on a family tree

I IMMEDIATELY started thinking of ways of being a smart-ass. The easiest one (and first one I thought of) was to literally have someone walk out and notice a branch in an old tree on their family’s lawn for the first time. Provided I go with the whole “F this topic” route, I’m keeping that. Then, I also thought of having the place be called Sleepytown, where everyone is narcoleptic or something. Of course, that immediately made me think that I’d be writing a kids’ book, which I also haven’t totally abandoned yet. Then I naturally thought that I should write the world’s WORST kids’ book, where all sorts of truly gruesome things happen. Again, another topic I haven’t abandoned.

Then I wondered how I could get around the baker, and of course I could have someone’s last name be Baker, and then he could be whatever he wants. A mad scientist was my first thought, so he could be putting some crazy toxins in the bread, or a previously-undiscovered element that causes people to have super powers or insatiable sex drives (if it were the world’s worst kids’ book). Then I had thoughts about someone time travelling from the future to give him something totally asinine to put in the bread.

Then my inner Corey Revilla took over and I started thinking of having him put totally impossible things into his bread, like black holes or anecdotes. Breaking convention like that made me think I should somehow have it be a meta-story where the baker is really the writer.


So in short, now that you’ve gone through the twisting paths of my brain, I have a TON of ideas. But if I’m going to screw the topic over, I’d rather Aaron not know until afterwards so he doesn’t think I don’t care about the project. I like the project very much, but that doesn’t mean I can’t flip it off now and again.

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Posted by on October 4, 2012 in derek's writing, monthly topic


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